Dear Essy-elle.
At the moment you appear to be losing yourself in that dark cloud that you have held off for so long. You are listening to it's cruel teachings more and more.
I can see the descent happening, but every time I try to pull you up from the depths, she screams with such hostility that I am too scared to speak.
She is angry, vengeful for your ignorance over the last two years. But she is wrong, yet you are listening.
The more you listen to her the louder she is getting. Planting seeds of fear in the happy garden you have worked so hard to cultivate. Even as I am writing this, she is stirring and I am losing myself within you. She has her roots down and they are spreading with an alarming ferocity that makes me shudder to your core.
Please come back to me, where you were safe. Where you were happy once, and I can speak to you freely.
Yours Sincerely,
Essy-elle
From Under the Ivy Tree: Snippets of confusion from a life more ordinary
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