Upset the apple cart?!? I'll frikkin kick it over in a minute!

So an update on my current status with regards to mood, well I can image you can gather from the heading that I am pretty pissed off.

I had my ed assessment last week, well half of it anyways. It seems that my history with regards to ed is a lot more complex that I expected. The initial part of said assessment was also a lot more intense and distressing that I expected. In addition to this I have also had other related hospital appointments, which will come to a grand total of 4 in February alone.

A point which my manager has enjoyed raising with me. Which leads me onto the reasons for my extreme pissiness. Not only am I made to feel that I am not pulling my weight as I am having to have time off for these appointments, I am also not receiving paid time off. I have perused the leave policy for my company only to discover that I am completely within my rights to have paid time off under both the discretionary leave policy and, much more importantly, under DDA legislation.

Now let me clarify before I continue my rant... I have never used my ed to gain special treatment. I have never asked work for anything. No reasonable adjustments. Nothing. The only thing I need is time off for these appointments, and to be paid in accordance with both the DDA company policy. Instead, I am being made to take flexi leave for these appointments. Which results in my being down on my hours, adding further pressure on me by making me work additional hours. Hours which I do not currently feel well enough to manage.

I went into a meeting to challenge my manager, which took a full weekend of psychological preparation and anxiety. I went in, armed with the policy, knowing that what I was saying was right and reasonable. The response included the following:

"I don't appreciate staff coming in here telling me about Policy. If you like we can arrange a meeting with (managers manager) and toss Policy around all day, but I have gone above and beyond what is required of me to accommodate you"

"You are out of order to say that this team don't understand you. This team is the most understanding team I have ever worked in"

"So the 16th, that's another days flexi you are going to have to take. You are just going to have to try your best to make these hours up"

"In the end to only people you are letting down is your young people and yourself"

So the question I pose is, why the hell am I bothering trying to get better? Why should I try when it is causing all of this trouble for me?

I called Unison, I called B-eat and I called Mind Legal... All of whom said that I now have a valid case for discrimination under the DDA. But I'm so scared to go through with it. I want to, even though I am leaving this hellish nightmare in March.

I want to do it because I no longer want to feel that my ed is something that I should be ashamed of.